Is teasing playful or harmful? It depends on a number of factors

Source: The Conversation – Canada – By Naomi Andrews, Associate Professor of Child and Youth Studies, Brock University

Picture this: a group of girls are sitting at a table in the lunchroom when a boy walks by. One girl turns to another girl and laughingly says: “Oh, isn’t that your boyfriend? You should go kiss him!”

A different girl chimes in: “Yeah, go give him a big kiss!” The girl in question responds: “Shh, stop that. I don’t want him to hear you!” and she smiles, but her face goes red. Her friends continue, making kissing noises and laughing. The others in the group join in laughing as well.

How should the girl interpret that behaviour? Were the teasers being playful — or taunting her in an aggressive way?

The answer to that question is: it depends. Teasing is a common but complex behaviour that can serve pro-social functions, such as bonding, signalling relational closeness. But it can also have anti-social functions and harm the targeted person.

Like all complex social behaviours, teasing interactions are influenced by a number of factors, like the relationship between teaser and target, the content of the tease and the local and broader context.

Study about harmful or playful teasing

In our recent study, we developed a model that organizes these various factors and the links between them.

The study used semi-structured interviews with 27 university students, who we asked to describe a teasing interaction from their adolescence that they experienced as harmful and playful.

Based on the interviews with participants, we developed a model to capture the many dynamics involved in teasing (such as the relationship between parties) and profiles of both harmful and playful teasing that shows where these factors differ.

Power differences, motives

As described by research participants, harmful teasing often includes content that is sensitive to the target, and might include a power difference between teaser and target based on factors like gender or sexuality, culture or racialization, as well as wealth or popularity. Some harmful content expressed was about sexuality (more than one participant mentioned homophobia) and ethnicity or religion (one participant was teased about wearing her hijab).

Playful teasing, on the other hand, often happens between close friends and is based on positive motives (for example, to be friendly, for encouragement). However, there is also substantial overlap between playful and harmful teasing.

Teasing can also start out as playful but “cross the line” to become harmful. Our systematic review of existing research about peer teasing revealed that youth consider a few key factors to determine what “crosses the line.”

The teaser’s body language, facial expressions and tone of voice combine to indicate the meaning behind the tease. Intent is important, and a teaser whose intent is clearly playful is less likely to cross the line.

Changes across development

The interplay between relationships and teasing content is also important. Youth in our study indicated that friends should know what to say and what not to say. That is, given their closeness, friends should know what specific content would cross the line. That said, teasing from friends can still hurt, particularly because they can have intimate knowledge of the target’s vulnerabilities.

Other research also points to important changes across children’s development. For example, researchers have noted that teasing is almost always interpreted as harmful by younger children. It isn’t until adolescence that youth recognize the potential for teasing to be playful.

This suggests that advances in cognitive, social and emotional skills across the transition to adolescence may better help youth understand the complexity and nuance that can be a part of these interactions.

For adults working with youth — or thinking about their own lives — it’s important to remember a social interaction may look harmless from the outside, but can still have negative consequences for those involved.

As for the distinction between teasing and bullying, what our research shows is that some harmful teasing can be considered bullying as it meets the hallmarks of that negative behaviour (power differential, intent, repetition), but not always.

Limits of playful teasing

Based on findings from our review and across our multiple studies, we suggest some insights around the limits of playful teasing that could be relevant for youth or adults in their own lives — or adults supporting children and youth.

A good starting place for playful teasing is when the teaser has a positive, close relationship with the person they are teasing. The person being teased should feel comfortable enough to ask for the teasing to stop if they want; and then the teasing should stop right away.
Teasing shouldn’t involve part of the target’s identity or involve sensitive topics. This is why having a close, positive relationship is a good prerequisite, so that the teaser knows what topics are “off-limits.”
We should always be careful about teasing around an audience, as this can amplify the harm — even when the audience involves other friends.
Check in with the person you’re teasing and pay close attention to their reaction. Often playful teasing is reciprocal.
Repeated teasing — even about seemingly benign topics — is more likely to feel harmful.

Lastly, even if a teaser means to be playful, being teased can still hurt. Be prepared to make amends and engage in relationship repair if the playful tease “crosses the line” and harms someone.

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. Is teasing playful or harmful? It depends on a number of factors – https://theconversation.com/is-teasing-playful-or-harmful-it-depends-on-a-number-of-factors-273676