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July 29, 2025

Parents don’t need to try harder – to ease parenting stress, forget self-reliance and look for ways to share the care

Source: The Conversation – USA (2) – By Elizabeth Sharda, Associate Professor of Social Work, Hope College

Modern parents experience many demands, with little support. Abraham Gonzalez Fernandez/Moment via Getty Images

I wrap up my workday and head for home, making a quick stop to grab the supplies my sixth grader needs for a project due this week and some ingredients for a quick dinner.

Once home, I check the sixth grader’s school website and discover a missing assignment. Bringing this up sparks a minor meltdown. I summon the emotional energy to help her calm down and problem-solve. My husband arrives home with our high schooler, who’s discouraged by something that happened at soccer practice. We’ll have to process that later.

Around the dinner table, we realize that both kids have sports practices Thursday, on opposite ends of town, at the same time as a mandatory parent meeting at school. And now I’m ready for my own meltdown.

On this particular evening, my family wasn’t navigating anything unique or especially catastrophic. Scenes like this play out nightly in homes across the United States. In fact, my family’s circumstances offer the protections of multiple forms of privilege. Certainly others have more difficult circumstances.

Why is it still so hard?

For a long time, I felt ashamed for being overwhelmed by parenthood. How do others seem to have it all together? Of course, the highlight reel of social media only fueled this comparison game. I often felt that I was falling short, missing some hack that others had found for not feeling constantly exhausted.

The reality is I’m far from alone in experiencing what social scientists term parenting stress. Defined as the negative psychological reaction to a mismatch between the demands of parenting and the resources available, parenting stress has become increasingly prevalent over the past five decades. In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, nearly half of all parents in the U.S. said their stress was completely overwhelming on most days.

Stress like this has an impact: Parents who experience high levels of parenting stress have decreased mental health and feel less close with their children.

I began researching parental stress and well-being when, several years after becoming a parent, I left my job as a social worker and entered a Ph.D. program. Through this process, I learned something that changed my perspective entirely: Parents today experience such high levels of stress because people have never traditionally raised children in isolation. And yet, we are more isolated than ever.

It clicked: Parents don’t need to do more or try harder. We need connection. We don’t need more social media posts on the “top three ways to keep your family organized.” We need a paradigm shift.

small boy runs away from camera toward extended family at a party — In the age of the nuclear family, it’s common for multiple generations to come together only on special occasions.
Maskot/DigitalVision via Getty Images

The myth of family self-reliance

Throughout human history, people primarily lived in multigenerational, multifamily arrangements. Out of necessity, our hunter-gatherer ancestors relied upon their clan-mates to help meet the needs of their families, including child-rearing. Research over time and across cultures suggests that parents are psychologically primed to raise children in community – not in isolated nuclear family units.

Anthropologists use the term alloparents – derived from the Greek “allo,” meaning “other” – to describe nonparent adults who provide care alongside that provided by parents.

Research suggests that alloparenting contributes to child well-being and even child survival in populations with high rates of child mortality. A 2021 study of a present-day foraging population in the Philippines found that alloparents provided an astounding three-quarters of the care for infants and an even greater proportion of the care for children ages 2 to 6.

In contrast, the ideal of the nuclear family is incredibly recent. It developed with industrialization, peaking in the 1950s and 1960s. Despite the significant changes in family structure – such as an increase in single-parent households – since that period, the paragon of the self-reliant nuclear family persists.

And yet, support from others is a key factor in family resilience. The familiar adage “It takes a village to raise a child” is, in fact, bolstered by social support research among parents in general, as well as those of children with special needs.

Parenting with collective care

Social support, while often viewed as a singular phenomenon, is actually a constellation of actions, each with its own unique function. Social scientists specify at least three types of support:

Tangible: Material or financial resources or assistance
Emotional: Expressions of care, empathy and love
Informational: Provision of information, advice or guidance

Different parenting challenges call for different types of support. When my husband and I realized we had three commitments in a single evening, we didn’t need advice on managing our family’s calendar; we needed someone to take our kid to practice – that’s tangible support. When my tween was blowing up over homework, I didn’t need someone to bring us dinner; I needed to remember what I learned from a book on parenting adolescent girls – that’s informational support.

To move away from the myth of family self-reliance and back toward an ideal of collective care would take a paradigm shift, requiring intervention at every level, from federal to state to family. A 2024 Surgeon General’s Advisory on parenting stress called it an urgent public health issue and provided recommendations for government leaders, service systems and communities. Systemic strategies like providing access to high-quality mental health care, expanding programs like Head Start that support parents and caregivers, and investing in social infrastructure like public libraries and parks could all help reduce parenting stress in the U.S.

three adults hold four toddlers on their laps outside — Finding other families at the same stage you’re in can be one way to fill out your village.
VIJ/iStock via Getty Images Plus

Personal steps toward a paradigm shift

Parenting stress is not a problem that can be solved solely by the individuals experiencing it. But here are five ways you can start making the shift toward collective care in your own life:

Take stock of your network. Assess not only in terms of the number of supporters, but what types of support they offer. Do you have plenty of people to talk to, but no one who would bring you a meal or give your kid a ride? Identify gaps and consider ways to round out your “village.”
Start small. Introduce yourself to your retired neighbor. Sit next to another parent at your kid’s sporting event. Talk to the babysitter you regularly see at the playground. Supportive relationships don’t just happen; they are grown.
Offer help to others. While it seems counterintuitive, people who give support to others experience greater well-being and even longevity compared with those who don’t. Helping others also creates the opportunity for reciprocity. Those you support may be more likely to return the favor in the future.
Normalize asking for help and taking it when offered. For many people, asking for support is hard. It requires dropping the facade and letting people in on your struggles. However, people are often more willing to help than you might assume. Further, allowing others to help you gives them permission to voice their own needs in the future.
Consider your caregiving expectations. The way others care for your children may not mirror your way entirely. Consider what are nonnegotiable practices for your family – such as limits on screen time – and what is worth loosening up on – like veggies at every meal – if it means you have more alloparents helping you out.

None of these suggestions are easy. They take time, vulnerability and courage. In our society of rugged individualism and nuclear family self-reliance, parenting through a lens of collective care is downright countercultural. But perhaps it’s closer to how we, as humans, have raised children throughout the millennia.

Elizabeth Sharda has received research funding from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation Faculty Development Fund. She serves on the board of directors for Michigan Fosters, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing support to families involved in the child welfare system.

– ref. Parents don’t need to try harder – to ease parenting stress, forget self-reliance and look for ways to share the care – https://theconversation.com/parents-dont-need-to-try-harder-to-ease-parenting-stress-forget-self-reliance-and-look-for-ways-to-share-the-care-253076

July 29, 2025

It is becoming easier to create AI avatars of the deceased − here is why Buddhism would caution against it

Source: The Conversation – USA (3) – By Elaine Lai, Lecturer in Civic, Liberal, and Global Education, Stanford University

A grief-stricken woman, Kisa Gautami, pleads with the Buddha to resurrect her dead child. Anandajoti Bhikkhu via Flickr

In a story in the Buddhist canon, a grief-stricken mother named Kisa Gautami loses her only child and carries the body around town, searching for some way to resurrect the child.

When she encounters the Buddha, he asks her to collect several mustard seeds from a family that has never experienced death. Not surprisingly, Kisa Gautami is unable to find a single such family. She buries her child and decides to cultivate a spiritual life.

I thought of Kisa Gautami’s story when I first encountered the 2020 Korean documentary “Meeting You,” in which virtual reality technology is used to reunite a grieving mother, Jang Ji-sung, with her deceased 7-year-old daughter, Nayeon. While the virtual reunion was moving to witness, I wondered whether it was truly helping the mother to heal, or whether it was deepening an avoidance of grief and of the truth.

Since the documentary first aired, the business of digitally resurrecting the deceased has grown significantly. People are now using AI to create “grief bots,” which are simulations of deceased loved ones that the living can converse with. There has even been a case where an AI-rendered video of a deceased victim has appeared to deliver a court statement asking for the maximum sentence for the person who took their life.

A person holding a phone with the face of a young man wearing a baseball cap on its screen. — A video created with artificial intelligence shows the face and voice of a young man who died at 22 while attending Exeter University in Britain.
Hector Retamal/AFP via Getty Images

As a Buddhist studies scholar who has experienced several bereavements this year, I have turned to Buddhist teachings to reflect on how creating a digital afterlife for loved ones may inadvertently enhance our suffering, and what alternative ways of grieving Buddhism might offer.

Buddhism’s view on suffering

According to Buddhist thought, the root of all suffering is clinging to illusions. This clinging creates karma that perpetuates negative cycles – for oneself and others – which endure lifetimes. In Mahayana Buddhism, the path to liberate oneself from this suffering begins by becoming a bodhisattva, someone who devotes their life to the liberation of self and others. Mahayana Buddhism, which introduced the idea of celestial bodhisattvas, is the most widely practiced form of Buddhism, particularly in East Asia and the Tibetan Himalayan regions.

In the “37 Practices of All the Bodhisattvas,” the 14th-century author Gyelse Tokme Zangpo wrote:

The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to let go of grasping
When encountering things one finds pleasant or attractive,
Consider them to be like rainbows in the summer skies –
Beautiful in appearance, yet in truth, devoid of any substance.

A digital avatar of the deceased may provide temporary comfort, but it may distort reality in an unhealthy way and intensify our attachment to an illusion. Interactions with a griefbot that responds to our every request may also diminish our memories of the deceased by creating an inauthentic version of who they were.

Grief as a catalyst for compassion

In the tradition of Buddhism that I specialize in, called the Great Perfection – a tradition of Vajrayana Buddhism, which is a branch of Mahayana – uncomfortable feelings such as grief are considered precious opportunities to cultivate spiritual insight.

In a text called Self-liberating Meditation, a 19th century mendicant teacher of the Great Perfection known as Patrul Rinpoche wrote: “No matter what kind of thoughts arise – be they good or bad, positive or negative, happy or sad – don’t indulge them or reject them, but settle, without altering, in the very mind that thinks.”

The Great Perfection contends that all of our emotions are like temporary clouds, and that our true nature is awareness, like the blue sky behind the clouds. Grief and other challenging emotions should not be altered or suppressed but allowed to transform in their own time.

In a culture where we are taught that negative emotions should be eliminated or pushed aside, not pushing away grief becomes a practice of great kindness toward oneself. By cultivating this awareness of our emotions, grief becomes a catalyst for compassion toward others. In Buddhism, compassion is the seed of awakening to the truth of interdependence – the fact that none of us exist as discreet beings but are deeply interconnected with all other beings and life forms.

Communal rituals

A young man, holding incense sticks, stands with an elderly person while they both fold their hands in prayer at an altar, with several others behind them. — Funeral ceremony in a Buddhist family in Vietnam.
Godong/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Compassion manifests outwardly in community rituals that process grief, such as the 49-day Buddhist service, common to the Great Perfection and other Buddhist traditions.

Many Buddhists believe that it takes 49 days for the consciousness of the deceased to transition into their next life. During this time, the family sets up a special altar and recites prayers for the deceased, often with the support of ordained monks and nuns. Practicing generosity toward others is also recommended to accumulate merit for the deceased.

These communal rituals provide much-needed outlets, time and support for processing grief and having it witnessed by others. The time and attention given to the grief process sharply contrasts to the situation in the United States, where bereavement leave is often limited to three to five days.

Deepening relationship with impermanence

In opting for digital avatars, we may undermine what Buddhism would consider to be critical moments for genuine transformation and connection.

When I think of the family and friends who have passed away this year, I empathize with the desire to hear their voices again, or to have conversations that provide closure where there was none. Rather than turning to a technological fix that promises a reunion with the deceased, I choose to deepen my relationship with impermanence and to savor the fleeting moments that I have with those I love now.

As Kisa Gautami’s story shows, the desire to bring back the dead is not new, but there is great benefit in allowing grief to run its course, including a felt sense of compassion for oneself and all others who have ever experienced similar forms of grief.

Elaine Lai does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. It is becoming easier to create AI avatars of the deceased − here is why Buddhism would caution against it – https://theconversation.com/it-is-becoming-easier-to-create-ai-avatars-of-the-deceased-here-is-why-buddhism-would-caution-against-it-261445

July 29, 2025

Masked and armed agents are arresting people on US streets as aggressive enforcement ramps up

Source: The Conversation – UK – By Dafydd Townley, Teaching Fellow in US politics and international security, University of Portsmouth

There are masked men, and some women, on the streets in American cities, sometimes travelling in unmarked cars, often carrying weapons and wearing military-style kit. They have the power to identify, arrest, detain non-citizens and deport undocumented immigrants. They also have the right to interrogate any individual who they believe is not a citizen over their right to remain in the US.

These are agents from US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, known as Ice. This is a federal law enforcement agency, which falls under the control of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), and is playing a significant and contentious role in the implementation of Donald Trump’s tough immigration policy.

On the campaign trail Trump promised “the largest domestic deportation operation in American history”. And he is giving Ice more power to deliver his plans.

Since Trump took office in January, Ice funding has been significantly increased. Trump’s “big beautiful bill”, passed by Congress in July 2025, gave Ice US$75 billion (£55 billion) of funding for the next four years, up from around US$8 billion a year.

This funding boost will allow the agency to recruit more agents as well as adding thousands more beds plus extensions to buildings to increase the capacity of detention centres. There is also new funding for advanced surveillance tools including AI-assisted facial recognition and mobile data collection. There’s another US$30 billion going to frontline operations, covering removing immigrants and transport to detention centres.

The president has committed to deporting everyone who is in the US illegally, that is estimated by the Wall Street Journal to be about 4% of the current US population. For the past five months, the numbers of people being picked up by Ice agents has been ticking up fast.

Average daily arrests were up 268% to about 1,000 a day in June 2025, compared with the same month a year earlier. This was also a 42% rise on May 2025, according to data analysis from the Guardian and the Deportation Data Project. However, this is still considerably short of the 3,000 a day ordered by secretary of homeland security Kristi Noem and White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller.

Ice’s tactics have already attracted significant criticism. Right-leaning broadcaster Fox News has reported on how masked agents are not showing ID or naming their agency when picking up people in raids. Other reporting has highlighted allegations that American citizens are also sometimes being swept up in the raids.

The agency, currently led by acting director Todd M. Lyons, has three main divisions: the Enforcement and Removal Operations division, which identifies and deports undocumented immigrants as well as manages detention centres. The Homeland Security Investigations, which investigates criminal activities with an international or border nexus such as human trafficking, narcotics, and weapons smuggling. The Office of the Principal Legal Advisor provides legal advice to Ice and prosecutes immigration cases in court.

Lyons claimed that mask wearing was necessary because of Ice agents being “doxed” – when a person’s personal information such as names and home addresses are revealed online without their permission. Assaults on Ice agents have risen, he claimed. DHS data suggested that there were 79 assaults on Ice agents from January to June 2025, compared to ten in the same period in 2024.

Democratic House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries compared mask wearing by Ice agents to secret police forces in authoritarian regimes. “We’re not behind the Iron Curtain. This is not the 1930s.”

The Ice agency was established in 2003 by the George W. Bush administration, partly as a result of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and was part of a broader reorganisation of federal agencies under the then newly created DHS. It incorporated parts of the former Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) and some elements of the US Customs Service.

According to the agency’s website, Ice’s core mission is “to protect America through criminal investigations and enforcing immigration laws to preserve national security and public safety”.

News coverage of Ice agents wearing masks and not identifying themselves.

What’s changed?

At the start of the administration in January, the White House gave Ice the authority to hasten the deportation of immigrants that had entered the country with government authorisation during the previous administration. This “expedited removal” authority allowed Ice to deport individuals without requiring an appearance before an immigration judge.

As arrests have grown in the past months, Lyons told CBS News that Ice would detain any undocumented immigrant, even if they did not have a criminal record.

And the Trump administration has also allowed Ice agents to make arrests at immigration courts, which had previously been off limits. This restriction was introduced by the Biden administration in 2021 to ensure witnesses, victims of crimes and defendants would still appear in court without fear of arrest for immigration violations, unless the target was a national security threat.

Protests over Ice raids have spread across California.

However, Lyons rescinded those restrictions in May, part of a broader shift towards aggressive enforcement.

Much of the time, Ice has targeted illegal immigrants. But the agency has also arrested and detained some individuals who were residents (green card holders) or tourists – and, in some cases, citizens.

In recent weeks, according to the Washington Post, Ice has been ordered to increase the number of immigrants shackled with GPS-enabled ankle monitors. This would significantly increase the number of immigrants that are under surveillance. Ankle monitors also restrict where people can travel.

Sparking protests

There have been numerous public protests about Ice raids, most notably in California. This peaked on June 6 after Ice had conducted numerous raids in Los Angeles, resulting in clashes between agents and protesters. This led to the White House sending around 2,000 National Guard troops and 700 Marines to Los Angeles, despite opposition from California governor Gavin Newsom.

Part of the friction between the Trump administation and the state is that Los Angeles and San Francisco have adopted local policies to limit cooperation with federal immigration authorities including Ice. California has sanctuary laws, such as SB 54, that prohibit local police and sheriffs from assisting Ice with civil immigration enforcement.

However, Trump shows every sign of pushing harder and faster to crack down on illegal immigrants, and Ice agents are clearly at the forefront of how he aims to do it.

Dafydd Townley does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. Masked and armed agents are arresting people on US streets as aggressive enforcement ramps up – https://theconversation.com/masked-and-armed-agents-are-arresting-people-on-us-streets-as-aggressive-enforcement-ramps-up-261499

July 29, 2025

The hunt for ‘planet nine’: why there could still be something massive at the edge of the Solar System

Source: The Conversation – UK – By Ian Whittaker, Senior Lecturer in Physics, Nottingham Trent University

The Sun’s gravitational pull extends more than 160 times further into space than Neptune. Vadim Petrakov

Is there a massive undiscovered planet on the outer reaches of the Solar System? The idea has been around since before the discovery of Pluto in the 1930s. Labelled as planet X, prominent astronomers had put it forward as an explanation for Uranus’s orbit, which drifts from the path of orbital motion that physics would expect it to follow. The gravitational pull of an undiscovered planet, several times larger than Earth, was seen as a possible reason for the discrepancy.

That mystery was ultimately explained by a recalculation of Neptune’s mass in the 1990s, but then a new theory of a potential planet nine was put forward in 2016 by astronomers Konstantin Batygin and Mike Brown at Caltech (the California Institute of Technology).

Their theory relates to the Kuiper Belt, a giant belt of dwarf planets, asteroids and other matter that lies beyond Neptune (and includes Pluto). Many Kuiper Belt objects – also referred to as trans-Neptunian objects – have been discovered orbiting the Sun, but like Uranus they don’t do so in a continuous expected direction. Batygin and Brown argued that something with a large gravitational pull must be affecting their orbit, and proposed planet nine as a potential explanation.

This would be comparable to what happens with our own Moon. It orbits the Sun every 365.25 days, in line with what you would expect in view of their distance apart. However, the Earth’s gravitational pull is such that the Moon also orbits the planet every 27 days. From the point of view of an outside observer, the Moon moves in a spiralling motion as a result. Similarly, many objects in the Kuiper Belt show signs of their orbits being affected by more than just the Sun’s gravity.

While astronomers and space scientists were initially sceptical about the planet nine theory, there has been mounting evidence thanks to increasingly powerful observations that the orbits of trans-Neptunian objects are indeed erratic. As Brown said in 2024:

I think it is very unlikely that P9 does not exist. There are currently no other explanations for the effects that we see, nor for the myriad other P9-induced effects we see on the Solar System.

In 2018, for example, it was announced that there was a new candidate for a dwarf planet orbiting the Sun, known as 2017 OF201. This object measures around 700km across (Earth is roughly 18x bigger) and has a highly elliptical orbit. This lack of a roughly circular orbit around the Sun suggested either an impact early in its lifetime that put it on this path, or gravitational influence from planet nine.

Problems with the theory

On the other hand, if planet nine exists, why hasn’t anyone found it yet? Some astronomers question whether there’s enough orbital data from Kuiper objects to justify any conclusions about its existence, while alternative explanations get put forward for their motion, such as the effect of a ring of debris or the more fantastical idea of a small black hole.

The biggest issue, however, is that the outer Solar System just hasn’t been observed for long enough. For example, object 2017 OF201 has an orbital period of about 24,000 years. While an object’s orbital path around the Sun can be found in a short number of years, any gravitational effects probably need four to five orbits to notice any subtle changes.

New discoveries of objects in the Kuiper Belt have also presented challenges for the planet nine theory. The latest is known as 2023 KQ14, an object discovered by the Subaru telescope in Hawaii.

It is known as a “sednoid”, meaning it spends most of its time far away from the Sun, though within the vast area in which the Sun has a gravitational pull (this area lies some 5,000AU or astronomical units away, where 1AU is the distance from the Earth to the Sun). The object’s classification as a sednoid also means the gravitational influence of Neptune has little to no effect on it.

2023 KQ14’s closest approach to the Sun is around 71AU away, while its furthest point is about 433AU. By comparison, Neptune is about 30AU away from the Sun. This new object is another with a very elliptical orbit, but it is stabler than 2017 OF201, which suggests that no large planet, including a hypothetical planet nine, is significantly affecting its path. If planet nine exists, it would therefore perhaps have to be farther than 500AU away from the Sun.

Solar System representation showing the Kuiper Belt — The band of green objects beyond Neptune is the Kuiper Belt.
Wikimedia

To make matters worse for the planet nine theory, this is the fourth sednoid to be discovered. The other three also exhibit stable orbits, similarly suggesting that any planet nine would have to be very far away indeed.

Nonetheless, the possibility remains there could still be a massive planet affecting the orbits of bodies within the Kuiper Belt. But astronomers’ ability to find any such planet remains somewhat limited by the restrictions of even unmanned space travel. It would take 118 years for a spacecraft to travel far enough away to find it, based on estimates from the speed of Nasa’s New Horizons explorer.

This means we’ll have to continue to rely on ground- and space-based telescopes to detect anything. New asteroids and distant objects are being discovered all the time as our observing capabilities become more detailed, which should gradually shed more light on what might be out there. So watch this (very big) space, and let’s see what emerges in the coming years.

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Ian Whittaker does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. The hunt for ‘planet nine’: why there could still be something massive at the edge of the Solar System – https://theconversation.com/the-hunt-for-planet-nine-why-there-could-still-be-something-massive-at-the-edge-of-the-solar-system-261784

July 29, 2025

Why modern masculinity is a climate issue

Source: The Conversation – UK – By Michael Joseph Richardson, Senior Lecturer in Human Geography, Newcastle University

What does masculinity have to do with the climate? A surprising amount.

For example, significant figures in the manosphere combine misogyny with anti-environmentalism. Think Andrew Tate boasting of his fleet of cars and his private jet. And because care is central to climate action, it may be seen as “women’s work”.

I recently spoke at a panel event in Newcastle, organised by The Conversation and youth charity Cumberland Lodge, on youth, masculinity and the political divide. The sheer breadth of the discussion – between academics and teenage members of NE Youth on the panel and members of the audience – show how messages and beliefs about gender roles and masculinity are embedded in so many aspects of society and our lives.

My research explores what academics call ecological masculinities. This recognises that there are gender and class expectations of who takes the lead in climate action, like the ones I mentioned.

When young, working-class men – many of whom have never been invited into environmentalism before – get involved with climate action, this is more than helping the environment. It’s reshaping perceptions of who gets to play a caring role, including environmental care.

As part of my research, I’m working on the National Lottery Climate Action Fund project Birds, Bees, Bikes and Trees. This is a partnership between Gateshead’s Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art and North East Young Dads and Lads, a regional charity working with young fathers and their families. Through the project, young men get involved in planting trees, making pollinator habitats, and learning skills in bicycle maintenance.

In listening to the young men at the project launch of Birds, Bees, Bikes and Trees I learned that they live their lives locally. They do not go on holidays abroad. They visit local shops and the vast majority do not own a car – they walk, cycle or take public transport.

But they are not commended for their green citizenship. Instead, they are often marked by poverty and deprivation. This view, which sees them as lacking, consigns their demographic to marginalisation. They are seen as without education and without opportunity. It also helps explain why private car ownership is seen as aspirational.

Many areas of north-east England can be considered “left behind places”. At the panel event, attendees talked eloquently about how in their communities, stories of their hometown’s past industrial successes have become their inherited legacies. The decline of traditional industries, often associated with traditional ideas of masculinities, has created generational gaps, a vacuum in identity and purpose.

Opening up environmental care to young men brings opportunities. I am one of a team of beekeepers who tend to two beehives on the south facing roof of the Baltic.

These hives are managed by the North East Young Dads and Lads. Due to conditions at this site – looking after bees at 42 metres in the air – the young men are offered extra training that provides them with industrial skills, in this case industry standard health and safety certification for harness and lanyard working. This adds value to the their ecological efforts.

Young men involved in the project have become employed as beekeepers and cycling coordinators, as well as trained in bike maintenance, forest school leadership and outdoor first aid.

Birds Bees Bikes & Trees: Source to Sea.

In the North East, though, environmental work has suffered a setback. Durham County Council – now run by Reform UK – has announced they’re removing the words equality and climate change from department names and have rescinded their climate emergency declaration.

This reflects the views of many Reform voters, who – according to YouGov polling – don’t see the environment as a key issue affecting the country.

But the net zero economy in the UK is already four times the size of the manufacturing sector. Challenging the narrative on masculinity – its relationship to caring, and to traditional forms of work – is beneficial for young men. One dad, now employed on the project as a community beekeeper and cycling coordinator, said:

Being more in touch with nature, not only the bees but the flowers and trees they forage on, has been an amazing experience … I see myself as a human worker bee in partnership with these fantastic little creatures, helping them produce a surplus of honey.

Planting trees, restoring bikes, inspecting bee hives and looking after green spaces isn’t just environmental work. It’s emotional work. It’s care work. And changing the narrative on who gets to do it is vitally important.

Michael Joseph Richardson receives funding from National Lottery Community Fund.

– ref. Why modern masculinity is a climate issue – https://theconversation.com/why-modern-masculinity-is-a-climate-issue-260868

July 29, 2025

Royal Mail’s delivery pledges have changed. Here’s what the company could look like in future

Source: The Conversation – UK – By Paul Simmonds, Strategy & International Business Group, Warwick Business School, University of Warwick

The last few months have been busy for Royal Mail. In late April, Czech businessman Daniel Kretinsky’s EP Group acquired its parent company, International Distribution Services, for £3.6 billion – a value well below the May 2021 peak of £6 billion.

Then, regulator Ofcom announced that from July 28 there would be changes to a regulatory framework called the universal service obligation (USO). This effectively determines delivery standards for Royal Mail – and has been seen as a major barrier to its profitability. The company, which was privatised in 2013, made an adjusted operating loss of £348 million in 2023-24 (and £419 million in 2022-23).

So what do the events of the past few months mean for its future?

It has seen letter volumes fall from a peak of 20 billion in 2004-5 to only 6.6 billion in 2023-24. At the same time, parcel volumes have grown to 3.9 billion – driven by a rise in home shopping. However, Royal Mail has struggled to manage this shift and maintain profitability, effectively downsizing letter infrastructure and rebalancing its workforce to reflect this.

Meanwhile, the costs of meeting its USO obligations have meant its performance has deteriorated. There is competition in letters – but only for the most profitable business. Delivery company Whistl collects and processes bulk business mail and pays Royal Mail to deliver “the last mile”. But Whistl sits outside the USO and can cherry-pick its market segment.

The new USO still requires Royal Mail to deliver first-class letters six days a week, but second-class deliveries will now be on alternate weekdays only. Parcel deliveries are five days a week. Crucially, the obligation applies to around 32 million UK addresses – all for the same price.

The target for delivering first-class post within one day is falling from 93.5% to 90%. For second-class, the three-day target is falling from 98.5% to 95%. There’s also a new target – 99% of all post must arrive no more than two days late.

In making these changes, Ofcom is seeking to strike a balance between reliability, affordability and sustainability. It believes the changes will save Royal Mail between £250 million and £425 million a year, ensuring the service will break even and continue.

However, the company’s 2024-25 performance is below the new targets (76.5% for first-class and 92.2% for second class). As such, it’s likely to come in for more fines from Ofcom to add to those totalling £16 million for the previous two years.

In addition, its ability to increase revenue by raising prices might be curtailed. Second-class prices are regulated – increases are linked to affordability and inflation. They have risen by 74% since 2013, while first-class prices are unregulated and increased by 183%. For comparison, inflation was around 40% over the same period.

Ofcom has said it may also regulate first-class costs, amid concerns that Royal Mail may raise them to such a level that demand disappears, leaving only second-class post.

Change must come

Despite growth, Royal Mail’s parcels business faces headwinds – its market share fell from 45% in 2014-15 to 35% in 2023-24. Competitors, including FedEx, DHL, Evri, DPD and Amazon are not encumbered by USO obligations. This means they can be leaner and more aggressive in their pricing.

In 2020, Royal Mail lost its monopoly with the Post Office, which now also offers services from Evri and DPD. These two companies recently announced a merger, which is awaiting approval by regulator the Competition and Markets Authority but could create a company delivering more than a billion parcels a year.

In addition to modernising sorting offices, Royal Mail will quickly need to adopt technology such as smart postboxes and parcel lockers in order to compete – but for now it is well behind. A recent contract with supermarket Sainsbury’s to put lockers in stores is a good start, but Royal Mail has only 1,500 lockers compared to Amazon’s 5,000 and Inpost’s more than 7,500.

The impact of the EP Group takeover may take some time to be realised. The guarantees given to the government and unions to get the deal done will limit the extent of change for the first few years. Key assurances include maintaining the USO (whatever form that might take) and regulatory compliance, as well as keeping headquarters and tax residency in the UK.

On top of this, it must also protect the brand, reinvest any pension surplus into Royal Mail, and it cannot sell off or break up the company, outsource services or make compulsory redundancies.

female postal worker doing her round on foot. — Under the terms of the takeover deal, Royal Mail cannot impose immediate compulsory redundancies.
Michael J P/Shutterstock

These legally binding commitments, supported by a government “golden share” with some veto powers, are not open-ended. Most are valid for five years but that of no compulsory redundancies was originally valid only until 2025. What happens after they expire is uncertain, but the business has to change significantly. Kretinsky has spoken of the need to modernise to keep pace with competitors. This means there will have to be significant change – sooner rather than later.

Improving productivity will be key, and that is very likely to mean redundancies and changes to work practices. Royal Mail’s management faced a series of damaging strikes in 2022 and 2023. But Kretinsky has sought to work with unions, principally the Communication Workers Union.

He has reached a three-year pay deal with greater job security. But efficiency needs to be improved if Royal Mail is to become profitable – and in a labour-intensive business that could mean difficult decisions and fewer employees.

What Royal Mail has in its favour however is its status as a trusted brand (although recent delivery performance may have tarnished that in some customers’ eyes). Changes to the USO will help in the short term. But the volume of letters will continue to fall and the company’s success will still depend on its ability to match capacity with demand while achieving its targets.

Further USO changes are inevitable. And so is the demise of first-class post, as price increases render it a low-volume, uneconomic service. The takeover is likely to accelerate change.

The parcels business will probably become an integral part of a pan-European logistics enterprise, alongside EP’s existing ventures and Royal Mail’s sister firm, parcel company GLS. This inevitably leaves the letters side of the company as a much smaller offering – with a very uncertain future.

Paul Simmonds does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. Royal Mail’s delivery pledges have changed. Here’s what the company could look like in future – https://theconversation.com/royal-mails-delivery-pledges-have-changed-heres-what-the-company-could-look-like-in-future-261643

July 29, 2025

France is set to recognise the state of Palestine and the UK may follow – but what does it really mean?

Source: The Conversation – UK – By Malak Benslama-Dabdoub, Lecturer in law, Royal Holloway University of London

Emmanuel Macron’s pledge to formally recognise the state of Palestine will make France the first G7 country and member of the UN security council to do so. The question is whether others will follow suit. The UK prime minister, Keir Starmer, is coming under mounting pressure from many of his MPs, and has recalled his cabinet from their summer recess to discuss the situation in Gaza.

Starmer is expected to announce a peace plan for the Middle East this week that will include British recognition of Palestinian statehood. Downing Street sources said recognition was a matter of “when, not if”.

Recognition of statehood is not merely symbolic. The Montevideo convention of 1933 established several criteria which must apply before an entity can be recognised as a sovereign state. These are a permanent population, a defined territory, an effective government and the ability to conduct international relations.

The process involves the establishment of formal diplomatic relations, including the opening of embassies, the exchange of ambassadors, and the signing of bilateral treaties. Recognition also grants the recognised state access to certain rights in international organisations. For Palestinians, such recognition will strengthen their claim to sovereignty and facilitate greater international support.

Macron’s announcement was met with enthusiasm in many Arab capitals, as well as among Palestinian officials and supporters of the two-state solution. It was also praised by a number of European leaders as well as several journalists and other analysts as a long-overdue step toward a more balanced approach to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

However, the reaction from other major powers was swift and critical. The US called it “a reckless decision” while the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, said he “strongly condemned” it. Italy’s prime minister, Giorgia Meloni, called it “counterproductive”.

Within hours, it was clear that Macron’s announcement had both shifted diplomatic discourse and reignited longstanding divisions.

France’s decision is significant. It signals a departure from the western consensus, long shaped by the US and the EU, that any recognition of Palestinian statehood must be deferred until after final-status negotiations. The move also highlights growing frustration in parts of Europe with the ongoing violence in Gaza and the failure of peace talks over the past two decades.

Yet questions remain: what does this recognition actually entail? Will it change conditions on the ground for Palestinians? Or is it largely symbolic?

So far, the French government has offered no details on whether this recognition will be accompanied by concrete measures. There has been no mention of sanctions on Israel, no indication of halting arms exports, no pledges of increased humanitarian aid or support for Palestinian governance institutions. France remains a key military and economic partner of Israel, and Macron’s announcement does not appear to alter that relationship.

Nor is this the first time a western country has taken a symbolic stance in support of Palestinian statehood. Sweden recognised the state of Palestine in 2014, becoming the first western European country to do so. It was followed by Spain in 2024.

However, both moves were largely symbolic and did not significantly alter the political or humanitarian situation on the ground. The risk is that recognition, without action, becomes a gesture that changes little.

Macron’s statement also raised eyebrows for another reason: his emphasis on a “demilitarised Palestinian state” living side-by-side with Israel in peace and security. While such language is common in diplomatic discourse, it also reflects a deeper tension.

Palestinians have long argued that their right to self-determination includes the right to defend themselves against occupation. Calls for demilitarisation are often seen by critics as reinforcing the status quo, where security concerns are framed almost exclusively in terms of Israeli needs.

In the absence of a genuine political process, some analysts have warned that recognition of this kind risks formalising a state in name only – a fragmented, non-sovereign entity without control over its borders, resources or defence. Without guarantees of territorial continuity, an end to the expansion of Israeli settlements and freedom of movement, statehood may remain an abstract concept.

What would meaningful support look like?

If France wishes to go beyond symbolism, it has options. It could suspend arms exports to Israel or call for an independent international investigation into alleged war crimes. It could use its influence within the EU to push for greater accountability regarding illegal settlements and the blockade of Gaza. It could also support Palestinian institutions directly and engage with Palestinian civil society.

Without such steps, recognition risks being viewed as a political message more than a policy shift. For Palestinians, the daily realities of occupation, displacement and blockade will not change with diplomatic announcements alone. What is needed, many argue, is not just recognition but support for justice, rights and meaningful sovereignty.

France’s recognition of Palestine marks a shift in diplomatic tone and reflects broader unease with the status quo in the Middle East. It has stirred debate at home and abroad, and raised expectations among those hoping for more robust international engagement with the conflict.

Whether this recognition leads to meaningful changes in policy or conditions on the ground remains to be seen. Much will depend on the steps France takes next – both at the United Nations and through its actions on trade, security and aid.

Malak Benslama-Dabdoub does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. France is set to recognise the state of Palestine and the UK may follow – but what does it really mean? – https://theconversation.com/france-is-set-to-recognise-the-state-of-palestine-and-the-uk-may-follow-but-what-does-it-really-mean-262095

July 29, 2025

A rare, direct warning from Japan signals a shift in the fight against child sex tourism in Asia

Source: The Conversation – Global Perspectives – By Ming Gao, Research Fellow of East Asia Studies, Lund University

Jonas Gratzer/LightRocket via Getty Images

Japan’s embassy in Laos and its Ministry of Foreign Affairs has issued a rare and unusually direct advisory, warning Japanese men against “buying sex from children” in Laos.

The move was sparked by Ayako Iwatake, a restaurant owner in Vientiane, who allegedly saw social media posts of Japanese men bragging about child prostitution. In response, she launched a petition calling for government action.

The Japanese-language bulletin makes clear such conduct is prosecutable under both Laotian law and Japan’s child prostitution and pornography law, which applies extraterritorially.

This diplomatic statement was not only a legal warning. It was a rare public acknowledgement of Japanese men’s alleged entanglement in transnational child sex tourism, particularly in Southeast Asia.

It’s also a moment that demands we look beyond individual criminal acts or any one nation and consider the historical, racial and structural inequalities that make such mobility and exploitation possible.

A changing map of exploitation

Selling and buying sex in Asia is nothing new. The contours have shifted over time but the underlying sentiment has remained constant: some lives are cheap and commodified, and some wallets are deep and entitled.

Japan’s involvement in overseas prostitution stretches back to the Meiji period (1868-1912). Young women from impoverished rural regions (known as karayuki-san) migrated abroad, often to Southeast Asia, to work in the sex industry, from port towns in Malaya to brothels in China and the Pacific Islands.

If poverty once pushed Japanese women abroad to sell their bodies, by the second half of the 20th century – fuelled by Japan’s postwar economic boom – it was wealthy Japanese men who began travelling overseas to buy sex.

Around the 2000s, the dynamic flipped again. In South Korea, now a developed economy, men travelled to Southeast Asia – and later to countries such as Russia and Uzbekistan – following routes once taken by Japanese men.

Later in the same period, the flow took an even darker turn.

Japanese and South Korean men began to emerge as major buyers of child sex abroad, particularly across Southeast Asia, the Pacific Islands and even Mongolia.

According to the United States Department of State, Japanese men continued to be “a significant source of demand for sex tourism”, while South Korean men remained “a source of demand for child sex tourism”.

The UN Office on Drugs and Crime and other organisations have also flagged both countries as key contributors to child sexual exploitation in the region.

From exporter to destination: Japan’s new role in the sex trade

A more recent and troubling shift appears to be unfolding within Japan.

Amid ongoing economic stagnation and the depreciation of the yen, Tokyo has reportedly become a destination for inbound sex tourism. Youth protection organisations have observed a notable rise in foreign male clients, particularly Chinese, frequenting areas where teenage girls and young women engage in survival sex.

What ties these movements together is not just culturally specific beliefs, such as the fetishisation of virginity or the superstition that sex with young girls brings good luck in business, but power.

The battle to protect children

The global campaign to end child sex tourism began in earnest with the founding of ECPAT (a global network of organisations that seeks to end the sexual exploitation of children) in 1990 to confront the rising exploitation of children in Southeast Asia.

Despite legal frameworks and international scrutiny, the abuse of children remains disturbingly common.

Several factors converge here: endemic poverty, weak law enforcement and a constant influx of wealthier foreign men. Add to that the digital age of information and communication technologies, where child sex can be advertised, arranged and commodified through encrypted platforms and invitation-only forums, and the crisis deepens.

While local governments often pledge reform, implementation is inconsistent.

Buyers, especially foreign buyers, often manage to evade consequences. However, in early 2025, Japan’s National Police Agency arrested 111 people – including high school teachers and tutors – in a nationwide crackdown on online child sexual exploitation, conducted in coordination with international partners.

Why this moment matters

The shock surrounding the Laos revelations and the unusually direct response from Japanese authorities offers a rare opportunity to confront the deeper systems at work.

Sex tourism doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s enabled by uneven development, transnational mobility, weak regulation and social silence. But this moment also shows grassroots activism can force institutional action.

Japan’s official warning wasn’t triggered by a government audit or diplomatic scandal. It came because Ayako Iwatake saw social media posts of Japanese men boasting about buying sex from children and refused to look away.

When she delivered the petition to the embassy, it responded quickly. Less than ten days later, the Foreign Ministry issued a public warning, clearly outlining the legal consequences of child sex crimes committed abroad.

Iwatake’s action is a reminder: it doesn’t take a government to expose a system. It takes someone willing to speak out – even when it’s uncomfortable. As she told Japanese newspaper Mainichi Shimbun:

It was just too blatant. I couldn’t look the other way.

It’s commendable that Japan acted swiftly. But a warning alone isn’t enough. Japan should strengthen and expand its international cooperation to combat these heinous crimes.

A more decisive model can be seen in a recent case in Vietnam, where US authorities infiltrated a livestream child sex abuse network for the first time in that country. Working undercover for months, they coordinated with Vietnamese officials to arrest a mother who had been sexually abusing her daughter on demand for paying viewers abroad.

The rescue of the nine-year-old victim showed what serious cross-border intervention looks like.

But for every headline-grabbing scandal, there are hundreds of untold stories.

The Laos case should be the beginning of a broader reckoning with how sex, money and power move across borders – and who pays the price.

Ming Gao receives funding from the Swedish Research Council. This research was produced with support from the Swedish Research Council grant “Moved Apart” (nr. 2022-01864). Ming Gao is a member of Lund University Profile Area: Human Rights.

– ref. A rare, direct warning from Japan signals a shift in the fight against child sex tourism in Asia – https://theconversation.com/a-rare-direct-warning-from-japan-signals-a-shift-in-the-fight-against-child-sex-tourism-in-asia-261554

July 29, 2025

Air-dropping food into Gaza is a ‘smokescreen’ – this is what must be done to prevent mass starvation

Source: The Conversation – Global Perspectives – By Amra Lee, PhD candidate in Protection of Civilians, Australian National University

Israel partially lifted its aid blockade of Gaza this week in response to intensifying international pressure over the man-made famine in the devastated coastal strip.

The United Arab Emirates and Jordan airdropped 25 tonnes of food and humanitarian supplies on Sunday. Israel has further announced daily pauses in its military strikes on Gaza and the opening of humanitarian corridors to facilitate UN aid deliveries.

Israel reports it has permitted 70 trucks per day into the strip since May 19. This is well below the 500–600 trucks required per day, according to the United Nations.

The UN emergency relief chief, Tom Fletcher, has characterised the next few days as “make or break” for humanitarian agencies trying to reach more than two million Gazans facing “famine-like conditions”.

A third of Gazans have gone without food for several days and 90,000 women and children now require urgent care for acute malnutrition. Local health authorities have reported 147 deaths from starvation so far, 80% of whom are children.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has claimed – without any evidence – “there is no starvation in Gaza”. This claim has been rejected by world leaders, including Netanyahu ally US President Donald Trump.

Famine expert Alex de Waal has called the famine in Gaza without precedent:

[…] there’s no case of such minutely engineered, closely monitored, precisely designed mass starvation of a population as is happening in Gaza today.

While the UN has welcomed the partial lifting of the blockade, the current aid being allowed into Gaza will not be enough to avert a wider catastrophe, due to the severity and depth of hunger in Gaza and the health needs of the people.

According to the UN World Food Programme, which has enough food stockpiled to feed all of Gaza for three months, only one thing will work:

An agreed ceasefire is the only way to reach everyone.

Airdrops a ‘distraction and a smokescreen’

Air-dropping food supplies is considered a last resort due to the undignified and unsafe manner in which the aid is delivered.

The UN has already reported civilians being injured when packages have fallen on tents.

The Global Protection Cluster, a network of non-governmental organisations and UN agencies, shared a story from a mother in Al Karama, east of Gaza City, whose home was hit by an airdropped pallet, causing the roof to collapse:

Immediately following the impact, a group of people armed with knives rushed towards the house, while the mother locked herself and her children in the remaining room to protect her family. They did not receive any assistance and are fearful for their safety.

Air-dropped pallets of food are also inefficient compared with what can be delivered by road.

One truck can carry up to 20 tonnes of supplies. Trucks can also reach Gaza quickly if they are allowed to cross at the scale required. Aid agencies have repeatedly said they have the necessary aid and personnel sitting just one hour away at the border.

Given how ineffective the air drops have been – and will continue to be – the head of the UN Relief Works Agency (UNRWA) for Palestine has called them a “distraction” and a “smokescreen”.

Malnourished women and children need specialised care

De Waal has also made clear how starvation differs from other war crimes – it takes weeks of denying aid for starvation to take hold.

For the 90,000 acutely malnourished women and children who require specialised and supplementary feeding, in addition to medical care, the type of food being air-dropped into Gaza will not help them. Malnourished children require nutritional screening and access to fortified pastes and baby food.

Gaza’s decimated health system is also not able to treat severely malnourished women and children, who are at risk of “refeeding syndrome” when they are provided with nutrients again. This can trigger a fatal metabolic response.

Gaza will take generations to heal from the long-term impacts of mass starvation. Malnourished children suffer lifelong cognitive and physical effects that can then be passed on to future generations.

What needs to happen now

The UN has characterised the limited reopening of aid deliveries to Gaza as a potential “lifeline”, if it’s upheld and expanded.

According to Ciaran Donnelly from the International Rescue Committee, what’s needed is “tragically simple”: Israel must fully open the Gaza borders to allow aid and humanitarian personnel to flood in.

Israel must also guarantee safe conditions for the dignified distribution of aid that reaches everyone, including women, children, the elderly and people with disabilities. The level of hunger and insecurity mean these groups are at high risk of exclusion.

The people of Gaza have the world’s attention – for now. They have endured increasingly dehumanising conditions – including the risk of being shot trying to access aid – under the cover of war for more than 21 months.

Two leading Israeli human rights organisations have just publicly called Israel’s war on Gaza “a genocide”. This builds on mounting evidence compiled by the UN and other experts that supports the same conclusion, triggering the duty under international law for all states to act to prevent genocide.

These obligations require more than words – states must exercise their full diplomatic leverage to pressure Israel to let aid in at the scale required to avert famine. States must also pressure Israel to extend its military pauses into the only durable solution – a permanent ceasefire.

Amra Lee does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

– ref. Air-dropping food into Gaza is a ‘smokescreen’ – this is what must be done to prevent mass starvation – https://theconversation.com/air-dropping-food-into-gaza-is-a-smokescreen-this-is-what-must-be-done-to-prevent-mass-starvation-262053

July 29, 2025

My child is always losing and forgetting things. How can I help – without making it worse?

Source: The Conversation – Global Perspectives – By Celia Harris, Associate Professor in Cognitive Science, Western Sydney University

As school returns, parents and teachers might each be faced with the familiar chorus of “I can’t find my school jumper” and “I left my hat at home”. For parents of older kids, the stakes may be even higher: lost mobile phones or laptops left on the bus.

As parents, it can be tempting to take charge by packing schoolbags yourself, or texting older children a list of things to remember at the end of each day.

However, doing everything for your child robs them of an opportunity to learn.

What’s happening in their developing brain?

Our kids, in their busy lives, are constantly using and developing their memory skills – remembering where they put things, new conceptual knowledge, and routines required for the day-to-day.

Prospective memory – which involves remembering to do things in the future – is particularly challenging.

It’s prospective memory children draw on when they set a drink bottle down at play time and must remember to pick it up later, or get a note from their teacher and must remember to show their parent after school.

Success in prospective memory involves multiple cognitive processes going right.

Children must pay attention to what is needed in a given situation (“I can’t play outside if I don’t have a hat”), and then form and store a particular intention to act in the future (“I need to take my hat with me to school”).

Then, they must bring the intention back to mind at the crucial moment (taking the hat on the way out the door).

This “remembering to remember” requires memory to spontaneously occur at just the right time, without prompts or reminders.

These processes all require a higher-order cognitive skill known as “executive function”.

This is the ability to consciously control our attention and memory and to engage in challenging thinking tasks.

Processes that rely on executive function are hard, which is why lost drink bottles and forgotten hats are such frustratingly common experiences for parents.

Even for adults, the majority of day-to-day memory errors involve prospective memory.

Executive function develops later in childhood compared with some other skills, such as language and play.

The prefrontal cortex, which underpins executive function tasks, is not mature until early adulthood.

This means forgetfulness among children is common, and a natural part of development. Chances are you were like this too when you were a kid (you just might not remember it).

Could some kids struggle even more?

Yes.

Children (and adults) vary widely in their executive function skills.

While all children get better at executive function throughout childhood, this happens at different rates; some children may be more forgetful than others their own age.

One condition particularly related to forgetfulness is attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Children with an ADHD-inattentive subtype may be more likely to lose things and be forgetful during everyday activities such as chores or errands.

Children with ADHD will still develop prospective memory skills over time, but may be more forgetful relative to other children their own age.

How can I help my kid?

Do build routines and stick to them. Research shows routines help children develop cognitive skills and self-regulation. Children are best able to remember a routine when it is “automatised” – practised often enough they know it without thinking.

Do promote “metacognition”: an awareness about one’s own cognitive processes. Research suggests children are over-optimistic about their likelihood of remembering successfully. Parents and teachers can help them to notice when remembering is hard and put in strategies that help.

Do model the behaviour you want to see. For example, you might set up your own lists and strategies to help you remember daily tasks. You could also have a family routine of “bags by the door” and checking them the night before. Don’t do it for them, do it together.

Do seek professional support if you’re worried. All children will forget sometimes, and some more than others. If your child is particularly absentminded or forgetful, it could be worth consulting a GP or school psychologist. Conditions such as ADHD must be observed in more than one setting (for example, home and school, or home and sport), and specific diagnostic criteria must be met. Diagnosis can be helpful in accessing supports.

A parents packs her child's bag. — Doing everything for your child robs them of an opportunity to learn.
Halfpoint/Shutterstock

What should I not do – and why?

Don’t rely on kids being able to spontaneously self-initiate memory – that’s the hardest part of prospective memory! Instead, use checklists and memory aids. For instance, if they are consistently leaving their drink bottle at school, you could put a tag on their bag that says “where is your drink bottle?” Using prompts isn’t cheating – it’s supporting success.

Don’t sweat the slip-ups – these are normal. One study with 3–5-year-old children found incentives in the form of food treats weren’t enough to improve performance. Punishing is also unlikely to help. Instead, use instances of forgetting as teachable moments – strategise about how to adjust next time.

Don’t leave things too late. Anxiety and stress can make forgetting more likely, because children can easily become overwhelmed. Pack bags the night before, practise new routines, and avoid rushing where possible.

Don’t judge. Prospective memory failures are sometimes perceived as character flaws, particularly when they affect other people (such as when forgetting to return a borrowed item).

Understanding how memory works, however, helps reveal that forgetfulness is an everyday part of development.

Celia Harris receives funding from the Australian Research Council and the Longitude Prize on Dementia.

Penny Van Bergen receives funding from the ARC, Marsden, Google, and the James Kirby Foundation.

– ref. My child is always losing and forgetting things. How can I help – without making it worse? – https://theconversation.com/my-child-is-always-losing-and-forgetting-things-how-can-i-help-without-making-it-worse-261565